Posted April 5, 2005 10:37 p.m.

So I’m sitting here watching SportsCenter, frantically refreshing eBay to see if I have the winning bid on Mark McGwire’s syringe and checking my e-mail.

It seems my inbox here at josh@getoffus.com is overflowing.

So I’m going to open up the mailbag and share some of the goodness.

And oh yeah, I just lost my auction. Some AlbyPu5 from St. Louis just outbid me at the end.

On to the e-mails.

Josh,

Why do you act like Checola Seals is such a good coach? She didn’t even get her team past the national semifinals this year. What a joke.

Sincerely,

Pat Summit

ssss

Josh,

About a month ago you said Mike Newell and UAM crapped the bed at the end of the season. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

Utterly confused,

Najeh Davenport

ssss

Josh,

What’s up with Digger Phelps’ highlighter always matching his tie? That’s ridiculously gay. And hot.

Toodles,

The Queer Eye guys

ssss

Josh,

I heard former UCA basketball players Jarman Sample and Michael Monroe are putting out a rap album.

Have you heard it? I bet those joints is hot.

When did they find time to promote it?

!@*% you,

Ron Artest

ssss

Josh,

Is Bill Raftery not the most annoying man in all of basketball?

He’s HORRRRRIBLE.

Peace Out,

Bill Walton

ssss

Josh,

Why is ESPN shoving bowling down our throats?

Who cares about the PBA? Bowling is not a sport. Uggh!

Thanks,

The producers of Tilt

ssss

Josh,

The Lakers ... HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!

Regards,

The Bulls

ssss

Josh,

Why does Stuart Scott still have a job? He is a walking cliché. His catchphrases are tired and played out. Can we get him kicked off TV forever? BOO YAH!!

Stay Crunk,

Lil Jon

ssss

Josh,

I bet my bracket was better than yours.

Yours truly,

Rick Neuheisel

ssss

Josh,

I know this isn’t sports-related, but what is the big flippin’ deal about Jon Heder and this Napoleon Dynamite junk?

Just because you can dance all goofy doesn’t make you special. Gosh.

Respectfully,

Mark Madsen

ssss

Josh,

UCA should definitely make the move to D-I.

Love,

Arkansas State University

ssss

Josh,

What’s taking so long for the next season of “Chappelle’s Show”?

Eh?

The NHL

ssss

Josh,

I think it’s totally unfair and ridiculous that Todd Gossage gets a lot of playing time just because his dad is Goose Gossage.

Goose Gossage ... whoopdeedo. I bet he never had 30 wins in a single season.

Well, my dad did when he coached the Raptors back in 1997.

Maybe my dad just needs a cooler nickname.

How about Darrell “Wild Moose” Walker?

Sincerely,

Jarrell Walker

ssss

Josh,

This is obviously a blatant combination rip-off of Jim Rome and Bill Simmons.

Can’t you think of something on your own?

Holla,

Diddy





		Goff opens up his inbox, finds some jokes

		Posted April 5, 2005 10:37 p.m. So I’m sitting here watching SportsCenter, frantically refreshing eBay to see if I have the winning bid on Mark McGwire’s syringe and checking my e-mail. It seems my inbox here at josh@getoffus.com is overflowing. So I’m going to open up the mailbag and share some of the goodness. And oh yeah, I just lost my auction. Some AlbyPu5 from St. Louis just outbid me at the end. On to the e-mails. Josh, Why do you act like Checola Seals is such a good coach? She didn’t even get her team past the national semifinals this year. What a joke. Sincerely, Pat Summit ssss Josh, About a month ago you said Mike Newell and UAM crapped the bed at the end of the season. Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Utterly confused, Najeh Davenport ssss Josh, What’s up with Digger Phelps’ highlighter always matching his tie? That’s ridiculously gay. And hot. Toodles, The Queer Eye guys ssss Josh, I heard former UCA basketball players Jarman Sample and Michael Monroe are putting out a rap album. Have you heard it? I bet those joints is hot. When did they find time to promote it? !@*% you, Ron Artest ssss Josh, Is Bill Raftery not the most annoying man in all of basketball? He’s HORRRRRIBLE. Peace Out, Bill Walton ssss Josh, Why is ESPN shoving bowling down our throats? Who cares about the PBA? Bowling is not a sport. Uggh! Thanks, The producers of Tilt ssss Josh, The Lakers ... HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!! Regards, The Bulls ssss Josh, Why does Stuart Scott still have a job? He is a walking cliché. His catchphrases are tired and played out. Can we get him kicked off TV forever? BOO YAH!! Stay Crunk, Lil Jon ssss Josh, I bet my bracket was better than yours. Yours truly, Rick Neuheisel ssss Josh, I know this isn’t sports-related, but what is the big flippin’ deal about Jon Heder and this Napoleon Dynamite junk? Just because you can dance all goofy doesn’t make you special. Gosh. Respectfully, Mark Madsen ssss Josh, UCA should definitely make the move to D-I. Love, Arkansas State University ssss Josh, What’s taking so long for the next season of “Chappelle’s Show”? Eh? The NHL ssss Josh, I think it’s totally unfair and ridiculous that Todd Gossage gets a lot of playing time just because his dad is Goose Gossage. Goose Gossage ... whoopdeedo. I bet he never had 30 wins in a single season. Well, my dad did when he coached the Raptors back in 1997. Maybe my dad just needs a cooler nickname. How about Darrell “Wild Moose” Walker? Sincerely, Jarrell Walker ssss Josh, This is obviously a blatant combination rip-off of Jim Rome and Bill Simmons. Can’t you think of something on your own? Holla, Diddy